I didn't go to school today due to some circumstances and also because i got a cold. I do not know what i am doing. Hopefully i still can go for the sentosa outing tomorrow with my class mates. What a day. I'm feeling so tired and yet don't what to do. Sian.

count down to deardear birthday

9 days ?


~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

I really tired. I miss deardear badly. It is so hard for me to use words to describe how i feel. Yes, we meet often by but yet we will still miss each other. I got nothing to blog .

i love love love youuuu.. haha.

COUNT DOWN TO DEARDEAR's BIRTHDAY
10 DAYS...




MUACK.. :)


~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

its was a very tiring day. I mean mentally. I really do not know what happen and what is wrong with me. I just cannot get things done. I really tired of all those little things. I find no motivation in life. Please save me. What are friends all about? I am seriously in friendship, thats what people know about. booo hooo to joyci...



~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

I was kind of not in the mood for the class and my daily life activities. I was feeling really guilty. I did something wrong. I was kind of feeling really confused and bad. I do not know how to explain. I'm really sorry for what i had done and i hope our friendship stays the way it is. Sorry if i take this matter too seriously but i guess thats me.

Was pretty glad of my grade for the last week.

Love deardear ..

Muack.

when i gain something, i am about to lost something soon. it soooooo true...

~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

I wander if you will cry for me, i wander if you will run after me, i wander if you will hold me firmly , i wander i am too much, i wander if i will make you feel proud, i wander if i can grad hold of you for long.

There's too much for me to wander. But i guess few moments of that is good but too much of it is bad. Didn't step of house house due to some circumstances, i got to go out tml to shop for somethings.

Dear, i love you and miss you. =)
By the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Alan and Yunus !!!! Smile :D :D :D

~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

I'm back to blog.

I'm finally back to blogging. I'm a year 2 student right now, studying in e25j. Rena, Hui , jan and I are all on the same block and same level. I was really glad about that. e25j class is nice, yet to discover more at the period of time. *haha. Dear is at w5, he is pretty far away from me. Poor boy him, he have to travel from w5 all the way to w1 for breakout at times. * I appreciate that and I simply just love him ** deardear, i never just move mouth only.**hand sigh..*haha.

Just want to let those people that are suppose to know this short paragraph.
NO one initially understand how i really feel. I was all alone for this battle, but things don't remain the same always . Things had changed due to foresee circumstances. people, you people got to understand why i had choose to walk back and join back with you people. It is not because i felt guilty that i didn't commit to it. The reason is because my passion for music is still there , and it is seriously not worthwhile for me to end it just because of you people. I didn't want to bring up such matter as i had said before , but one day when i went back to my school band , i realize something is getting from bad to worst and it really hurts my heart. I started to think of what my senior had told me and i really think that its just simply not worth it. I dislike people in there, i dun denied. I got to make things clear. I do not like to see people's face when I go back. I will try all means and tolerate all the stupid stuffs that are going to happen. Or maybe can i say is not stupid,**mm. i shall call it childish. Of course the most important thing is i dislike this particular person. Stop all your acting and be real. You cannot survive long by just acting. You will only make me dislike you more. Serious speaking, i never really dislike people before. * playplay one, got la. But seriously from my bottom of my heart , NO not a single one. I hope you will be the first one and yea. I had make my final decision. I really thanks dear for this and i hope that people ( some) will understand my feelings and my thoughts as well.

i think i shall end here. I'm quite tired . *hee.

~~lailai , yanyan love youuuu~~

It been quite sometime since we last met and chatted, laughed. I went to have dinner with my family today. It was nice and just nice. Yea. enjoyed my day today.

I saw the syf result for today. I was quite shocked with the afternoon result. It seem like the standard is getting higher. I wish the upcoming bands for the following days , all the best.

Sch is reopening soon. let the journey begin.

SMILE.


~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

It been quite sometime since we last met and chatted, laughed. I went to have dinner with my family today. It was nice and just nice. Yea. enjoyed my day today.

I saw the syf result for today. I was quite shocked with the afternoon result. It seem like the standard is getting higher. I wish the upcoming bands for the following days , all the best.

Sch is reopening soon. let the journey begin.

SMILE.


~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

I woke up at 8am, going back to band. Today was their day. FTP band got bronze. Disappointment held in some people. Well, never going to give up FTP, continue to strive for the silver/gold for 2009. The judging this year seem to be much more stricter compared to the past. One or two people said that 'finally the judges are doing something. Well, what does that mean. FTP band did well today, they went on stage without the scores. thumb up. They are sad. WELL, you people already gave your best shot and we are able to see. There is always room for improvement. So the following batch got to buck up and pull up the sock to obtain a better performance.

i do not know what to do. no one can help me. how? joyci cannot be soft hearted. yes mean yes, no mean no.

JOYCI IS STRONG!!

~~lailai , yanyan love youuuu~~

It was an alright day.


I'm lost. I do not know what to do. I got to go straight to the point.
:)

FTP band , you people can do it tml. ALL the best for 07's syf. I believe that the band can do it.
JIayou ! Jiayou ! JIAYOU !!
I'm strong. yea. smile.


~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

After i read it. I felt that all along , suffering is not only me. Thoughts and emotions had been hidden. My heart seem to stop beating for 2 seconds, tears started to accumulate. Holding it back very strongly. Music understand how i feel. Music had accompanied me through tough time. Having difficulties in breathing. I guess I'm wrong.

I slept at 4 going 5 am last night. I was unable to sleep. I was super emo yesterday night, I went to watch 'stairway to heaven' show. It's super emo and it make me more emo and cry even more. But i guess the show help me to bed. I felt lonely and scare. I find no one at that moment, my tears brought me to sleep, to my dreamland. I'm all by myself.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up today at 11.30am; thanks to my hp alarm. I used all means to find that song and i got it now. I went to meet dear and went to PS with him to have lunch. I miss him badly. I send him to work after that. I went to walk around and went home after that.

An alright day.


~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

Thousands of words held in me.

This morning , I woke up at around 8am plus. I went to visit my family doctor regarding of my hand. It wasn't a very serious matter anyway. *ha. After visiting the doctor, me and my mother when to meet my father to have breakfast. I reached home at around 11am sharp, I went to use my laptop and i went to take a 10 min nap.*haha. I woke up in a rush and meet rena and jan to go vivo city. We went to vivo and had a walk and we ate donut. *ha. We went to shop. I am the only one that bought something. I brought a white shorts from ZARA. I somehow like it. I went home after that and yea.

At times, I felt rather emo at times. =( I do not know why I feel that way, but i guess that normal for me. I shall just close and open one eye. I do not want to think that much like before. It's too tiring and I do not want to either. People come and go, right? They want to behave that way let them be, you are not them so you do not have the right to bother about them. Joyci , don't bother about them. yea.

Dear had been working for long hours. I miss him super badly. dear.. :(
~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

BORED

A sunday morning, I went breakfast with my family. After that we came home and watch TV. My day was quite boring. I had finally done with the bbq matter. I will confirm for them as soon as possible. I miss deardear. By right , I am going to fetch dear after work. But he was not sure what time he will dimiss from work. *yawn. I guess fetching him also will not be a good thing for him. It is because he will have to send me home and that would result him to reach home even more tired. I really hope that deardear will take care of himself. I love you. Muack.



~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

It so happening. OMG. During evening time, I met up with rena to have dinner. We had pasta for dinner. We went to walk around at toa payoh centre and we decided to eat durians. We bought 3 for 10 bucks. After that we went to her house downstairs to have our durians and play chess as well as drinking lemon tea. *haha. It is so funny.

Things are often not that easy. Do not think so much as we do not mean that much. When people do things , they sure have reason of why they are doing this and that. There is definite a meaning/reason behind it and not just doing it for fun. I also do not know what to say and also what to comment.

imissdeardearnow.



~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~