haiz

I am a failure.





A better me is no where to be found.






~30/01/07~
I woke up in the morning and met janjan at orchard mrt at around 1 plus. We went to zara and shop. We try this and that, everything also 'nice leh, go try la'. *haha. After that we went to far east and buy some stuff. Today i bought a top from zara and a white belt. =) I enjoyed my day very much. It's a long day. I shall blog more about it tomorrow.



~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

=(

I'm having problem solving module now. I felt rather weird nowadays with the people around me. =( . Why ? why human change their behaviors so fast ? What did i do ? *haiz. I really tired. Everything in my life.





Joyci is strong!!! i know!! Joyci can do it . but i need time.



=(




*2801* smile

sdfg

This entry is kind of random. I suddenly feel like blogging it that why. I sad to say that i hope this particular whom i am not very close with to not see this entry. But i doubt so because she knew about the exist my blog, so too bad. she is a !@#$, at times noisy,talkative and annoying. I do not have any conflict with her, I just feel kind of sad for her friends around her. Many not all but just one of two. I'm tired of seeing her. Really sick of it. wellwellwell. I have no comments. We started to drift apart for good reason as my mother told me before that i should or must beware of bad companies. So i think i did correctly and i have no regrets at all. Let me think if i have any regrets. *hmm *thinking in process. *NOPE NOPE. NO REGRETS at all. well, its just a matter of time.

actually some of them are right. Perhaps the grades i got are just fake grade. What do i mean ? how do i achieving my grades? through my usual staff in RJ , my acting in class, my act smart move? So i am wrong doing all this is it ? True enough, people out there think that my grades aren't come by my hard work and etc. As i said before i don't mind peole saying me. I just pity myself, working so hard yet people think that all those grades are impossible for JOYCI. how come joyci can get such grades! i also never thought that those will be my grade, but isn't the grade prove you guys wrong. I can joke with you about my grade but as time pass more and more people had been hinting me that i am just a person that fake out my grades. I kept telling people around me / that are close to me that i felt so upset about how they look at me. They are understanding. Why can't the rest think that way. *haiz. I glad that there are friends around me that understand me .

Time will solve everything . I just ended my work. It was an alright day at work. This entry was originally started at afternoon time but now it the night time. That's all for the day.

long day

~24/01/07~
Hey, I'm going t o blog about OUR day yesterday.It was great and i am really glad that we had enjoyed our day. Happy 6th month , lailai. *hee. As per normal came to school and went off after my presentation. I went to find hui and jan jan, josh was there as well. After a short while, lailai joined us, janjan left for your VB match. Me,lailai , hui and josh decided to have subway. So we went to the subway that was located at PS. FREE COOKIES FOR THE DAY! WITHOUT ANY PURCHASES!! We are feeling happy and we had our free cookies and ate our subway. There are really typical aunty coming into the subway counter asking for " THE FREE COOKIES"! *ha. No comment on that. After we ate our subway, I suggested going to the acarde wanting to show them the machine that i and dear had spend lots on money on it. We decided to play the car racing. It was great, I enjoyed myself playing and I think i wasn't too bad a driver. *haha. Josh came in 1st, I came in 2nd , dear came in 3rd and *haha hui came in 4th. They went off after that. Me and dear decided to watch movie but we couldn't come to a show that we went to watch. So i suggested to dear that why not we go to mac and do RJ first. we went to do RJ but too bad i wasn't able to do RJ because my battery can only last for 11 min. I shut down my laptop and rest a while, while deardear is doing his RJ. He told me that he saw the ---- that cost $170 and etc. We discussed and how i wish my deardear will help in asking questions. *haha. It like funny, the roadshow is just inside PS. We can just go in and ask whatever we do not know. Why are we staying that the mac wondering this and that. So i told dear that if they ask too much we just say i am buying for my aunt. *haha. And so went to find out more and I am really no comments. *haha. deardear did played a part helping me to act a bit and said yea *haha. After that we went to watch movie 'ghost tunnel' . It was a scary movie, i hardly enjoyed it. After the movie we went to star buck and see if there is cable that allow me to pluck in to do my RJ. I managed to find the cable but we had a hard time connecting to the wireless. I began to do my Rj and we went home after that. Its been a long day . =) ILOVEYOU, lailai.

~25/01/07~
I'm currently having science lesson. I'm not feeling any good today. Its just a day that doesn't bright up my week. I will continue to blog at a later time of the day.


~~lai

!@#$%^&* boss

I went for work yesterday. I was super angry with this particular person. He doesn't have the brain to think. So what if he has the high position? Can't he use his four eyes to see that i am attending to a member ? Wanting me to go help him find the guest leaving the member behind. FINE. i went to help him to find his guest. The moment i stepped out of the counter, i saw the guest standing there already. I was like ' what the' . he then ask me why i never give her the GFP. I was like full of ?? marks la. she called you and it sound like a normal appointment. How i know. I decided to not ask anymore question and just say OK NEVRMIND. and i went to get a cup of tea for her. But she didn't want to drink it. Well, no comments. All i will do is to tolerate. Stop giving me all those rubbish comments. I stay is because of money not because of the whatever. I told myself when i want to leave this HELL. *haiz.

I was late for class today. Alright day for me so far. : ) i will blog for the later part of the day tomorrow.

~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

wellwellwell

This feeling in me is getting stronger and stronger. I somehow cannot allow myself to not think and relate everything to me. Am i thinking too much ? But something just seem to be the way i had in mind, i hope i am wrong. I hope i am thinking too much. I really don't know. having that person to exist in this earth is making me slightly unhappy, making me feel uncomfortable. *haiz. I can't be bother about this matter anymore. It just simply blue my day off when ever i think of it and see it.

Recently, I feeling kind of tired of myself. Attending school in the morning, going for work after school and going home after work. Why am i doing this to myself? tiring myself out. seriously, i do not know what i am doing now? yes, i know i did all this all for money !$$$. I really dunno. I want to quit this job. However , when thinking i have to restart everything again. I have to find job again, learn new things again. I know its life ! But can i choose not to ! i don't want. My mother and father had been nagging at me, wanting me to have a change of job. They are afraid that i will be too tired and etc. I really don't know. I'm sort of lost for the time being. I had been skipping band practices for weeks and is not very nice. *haiz.

more is what i need.

~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

A long day

~16/01/07~
I was supposed to meet deardear at 8.15am, but to due to some circumstances he was late for 10 minute or more. We took the train to harbon front to meet hui,josh,jan, rena and wong. We reached the station on time at 9am. We see no one, so dear decided to go have a quick breakfast. However, i told him that hui and josh will sure be on time and so i told him if they still didn't appear after i go to the toliet, we shall then go and have breakfast. True enough , they appeared. *haha. Hui told us that jan just woke up. So we went to meet rena to have breakfast. After that we went back to the train station to wait for wong. After waiting for quite sometime, wong still didn't appeared. We waited for janjan as well. * smile

So we went to take the bus to the beach. We found a spot and place our belonging their, hui,josh,rena and dear were playing VB. I never thought that deardear would actually play VB with them and doubt me not i think deardear wasn't too bad playing VB. *haha. It really cute to see the guys vs the gals. While they are playing, me and jan was sitting down. Jan was eating her chicken rice and me watching them playing VB. HUI,RENA and dear ask me to accompany them to play VB as well, but I am really sorry that i didnt played with them cause i really scared of being hit by the ball. After playing for quite some time, the sun was out. Me and jan started to suntan. Hui and josh went to get some drinks and me,jan and ren were tanning and dear was so hyper running about. *haha. Soon rena went off. After a while , me and dear decided to go into the water. We had a little chit chat and ilovehim. *haha. While chatting we found fishes swimming. Its really cute. I went to told huihui about it and we decided to go catch them. It is really not easy to catch those fishes. They are really clever and they swim really fast. I remember dear saying " reason that our parents want us to eat more fish is because they are clever ". *haha After several trys of catching , dear went to take the 'mr potato chip' to act as a bait. At first, i thought it really rubbish and a bit annoyed that deardear keep taking people food to 'play'. But i was wrong, dear really manage to catch the fishes with the chip. Dear caught 3 fishes. I was super proud of dear. While we were busy catching fishes, hui and josh were so looking for fishes and CRAB!! They almost caught one but it jumped off.

Not giving up, they decided to go to the other part of the sea to look out for crabs. And it indeed they caught 2 crab i guess. Jan jan caught a crab too. She was super happy. I was tired, so i went up to sit and rest for awhile leaving them to catch crabs and fishes. Out of a sudden, i heard deardear shouting and saying those !@#$%^&*(*^%$#@#$%^&*. So i went forward to see what was happening. IT was an OCTOPUS !!! Its like OMG . jan jan took pictures of it as well as video it. Subbenly, josh said let counted and see how many leg does it has. and see if our teachers lied to us. *haha. The best part is we counted.

We decided to send it back to the sea. After that we went off and started to pack our staff and go have our food. *haha. We went to vivo to have LJS. We went to shop around that area and we went home after that. It really a long day for me. I had great fun with them.

I'm proud of deardear and iloveyou. *muacks.

~17/01/07~
Early in the morning, 6 plus. I wasn't able to wake up. Dear called me to give me a morning call. I told him i can't wake up and seriously tired. having slight headache as well. So i didnt go for school today. But i will have to go for work later at 530pm. Oh ya, i received a good news from jasmine that we ca get our paid already. I'm really glad. but now i am thinking if we are able to get our pay on time. As we know that V'day is coming and so is chinese new year. *well. we shall see den.
I am going to rest now. *yawn.


~~lailai , yanyan love youuuu~~

boohoo

It a rainy day again. This morning, I woke up at 7am. My family and I went for breakfast, its been sometime since i go breakfast with them on sunday. After having breakfast, my father send me to work and i was on time. Today work was alright, but the key thing is we will be getting our paid at a later date. OMG. its been delayed for a week or more. It really saddening. We find part time job is because we are in need of money, but having to work for already one month and not getting the pay is crazy. If we work for so long and not getting money fast enough, why are we working here in the first place? I'm seriously in need of money that why i went to look for part time job. *haiz. No comments.. i have not meet deardear for two days le. I am also not sure if we are meeting any soon. Well, shall see about it. Deardear, this few days also very tired. Got work and band. Hope he will take care of himself. *hughug. Yesterday after work, i went to gym. It was super tiring. I feel good after the session. That's all about it.

~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

it really not my day yesterday. Im so sorry dear regarding yesterday things. I think I am really a very bad person.
1. smoke must tell me
2.how many sticks must tell me
3.Not allow to eat chicken rice
4.Not allow to add rice when eating chicken rice
5.being force to go gym
6.complain everyday
7.nag everyday
8.make him angry
9.not allow to eat too much fried food
10.want him to skip school with me
11.don't allow him to play game
12.want him to talk to me on msn.
13.doesn't allow him to be late when meeting me
14.want him to wake up early
OH MY GOD. it so demanding !!! why am i so bad?? why can't i have a thought for him? Didn't consider how he will feel? Happy happy setting all this rule for him. I'm super sorry and disspointed for myself.

He has always always been understanding, and nice and loving me many many. Why am i the one always making him angry? Dear, you really make me treasure you more than before.
I will reflect on myself. *yea. we will stand strong and you know i love you.

** whoever is reading this entry, feel free to msg me the comment after you had read , cause i would like to know **


~~lailai , yanyan love youuuu~~

happening day

Today was seriously a happening day. This morning as usual i met deardear to go school today, because of some reason he was late, but nevertheless he was being blamed. My class today was super funny too, han guang was our facilitator and every thing was so slacked. As usual me and dear began to meet hui, rena and jan for first breakout. I ended class super early today. Me, dear,hui,josh went to tp to support rena. It was nice seeing her playing. Oh ya, yesterday we bought a pair of red rose earring. Me , hui , and jan, it is super nice and i had been asking lailai the whole day if it is nice or anything. It cheap and nice, where can it be found? *haha. After rena's match , me and deardear rushed back to toa payoh. when we are going home, we decided to take a cab. However the cab didn't arrive after waiting for more than 10 minutes. So i suggested to ask him to take 142 home. It is much faster. anyway I am super tired now. I will continue to blog tml .


~~lailai, yanyan love youuuu~~

tired

I just reached home!! I took the last bus(238) home, i was glad that i managed to catch it otherwise i will have to walk home. Seriously, this is my first time feeling scare walking home, along the carpark and my house downstair. I do not know why i have such feeling , well maybe i am too tired.
`so what i help people
`haiz
`shit those people
`doesn't paid off to be good
i go sleep le, will update tomorrow.

~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~

asdfhj

I just reached home not long ago. My day was alright having to thought that today might be a better day and things would somehow go well for me, however i was wrong. *haiz. I think something is wrong with me. I ate a lot of food today. My stomach seem to have worms that ate all my food up that cause me to go hungry very soon. I will control tomorrow. I promise. I just came back from band. I'm seriously tired. =( Nothing much happen today. Tomorrow got work after school. *yea. Ok that all. I shall blog tomorrow.

~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

worst day

2007 . 01 . 03
Serious speaking , today is a really bad for me. ITS NOT MY Day. A series of happening.
1.I was late meeting dear
2.I was late for the second meeting letting the whole class waiting for me for 10 mins.(mood was deeply and badly affected)
3.I cannot seem to project my voice and convery my message across to the new facilitator while presenting worksheet.
4.Not suitable to be written here.
5.I didn't feel good in the contribution wise for my team work today.
6.I was feeling frustrated at that point of time.
7.I didn't get to meet dear for lunch.
8.Presentation was not good.
9.Facilitator is super draggy make rena wait for me.
10.Went to work, having no right size shirt. thought it fits but its too enchance on that part.
11.Two of my finger nails break
12.I sort of got scolded by tony.
13.Letting dear wait for me as he came to fetch me home. But i let him wait outside the office. He was feeling cold and i was delay by work and thus he have to wait for me. The worst thing is he is tired.
14.dear helped me with my homework, yet i said him.
15. Going home that time, its all for my own good yet i didn't appreciate it.
16.make him Unhappy and stress , i am unable to understand his stress and etc.
That's all that i can remember. Haiz. I do not know what to say. I shall continue tml.
Should i ... or not? but it will mean something if i . . . ! how man... haiz.

Its late. Good nitez. TO be Continue...


~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~