internal feelings

I still did not buck up my courage to click on the URL to check my class. I could not describe what's the feeling like.

I guess the passion for music is still there, but what you(senior) say before if the passion still live in me. I will be able to play without much concern of the environment and the surrounding. Well, i guess that's life. I am really confuse at times and also i admit that i had been running away from this problem again and again. Until recently, i left no choice. Things that are related to it seem to appear by my size. I got to face it sooner or later. I still have passion, i am still in love of music. Who understand how i feel. I had been running away from this topic and find excuses for myself. What has it done to me ? I find no discipline, i find no friends, i find no feeling and i find myself lonely in it. I try to mix, but i failed. Is it because my playing skill is lousy? is it because my face doesn't look friendly? AND etc. I have no comments. I guess i got to stop journey here and but i will continue my passion myself. Without the help of anyone from there. mark my words. There's one thing that I am worry about. I am afraid of something. But i guess there is nothing i can do to prevent that to happen. So just let it be and also to make the best out of it. =).

Today was an alright day.

I woke up in the morning at around 10am plus, i went to on my laptop and prepare the things that are needed to go visit dear. I prepared a feast for my deardear. *haha. Well, i shall just keep it private and only me and him shall know what is happening. Yawn. I was really feeling bored. I feel like going east coast and take a walk and breath in fresh air. I really have no idea of where to go and relax. Where are all my friends? *haha. A very good question. It is raining heavily now. I guess i shall continue to blog at a later time. *yea. Smile...



~~lailai, yanyan love youuu~~

Bored

I was kinda bored now. I suddenly feel that going to sentosa next week and get myself one .... . *haha. I bored bored . Well , althought i spend most of the time at home , i also felt that it kind of while worth because i get to rest and use my laptop fully as well as talking to my parents. Staying at home the whole day also increase my wisdom. I manage to know how to use picasa. Smile. I had fun playing with it the whole day. *haha. I am not sure what I am going to do tomorrow and the day after tomorrow . Well, shall see about it. *yea. Cheers. I am missing him now. *haha. Muack.

~~lailai , yanyan love youuuu~~

~28/03/07~
It kind of a happening day yesterday.jan,rena,dear and me went to pulau ulbin. It was super fun. We went to rent the bicycle for the day ; $4 PER bicycle. We started to ride and just cycle. It was fun, there were a lot of dogs. There was time whereby i have to get down from the bicycle to push and walk up the slope. I had to admit that my leg muscle is not strong at all. I really suprise that dear managed to cycle up the slope all the time. If i did not remember wrongly, he did not even get down from his bicycle to push. He kept motivating me to push myself up and not giving up. I love the dear dear that day. Jan took lots of pictures. I am waiting for her to upload so that i can upload as well. We left at around 6pm plus and went to the market to eat seafood. Yummy food. After eating, we went to this place to drink and play cards. It was interesting.After that we went home and slept.

~29/03/07~
Today, we went to accompany jan to the doctor. After seeing the doctor, we went to eat sushi buffet. *haha. Rena went for VB, jan didn't go for training due to some circumstances and me and dear went to PS . It was an interesting and nice day. We went to watch movie and went home after that.

I was glad that i managed to spend my days with him. I know i am a selfish person and will never happy for what i have. Always wanting to have more and move my mouth only. But i really glad to say that i really felt it enough. I do not care if you believe a not. But well, like theres a saying, people will also not be eno

smile.

~24/03/07~
Yesterday was our day. Although things do go that smoothly, but i guess that its life and thats how we can make our relationship go stronger and better. We get to know each other better and i love him more. We went to marina bay to have steamboat and went to watch movie. At the marina station, i saw bingxi, carven and sili. I miss them badly. :( .We watched Mr.Bean, it was super funny. Due to the timing we have a lot of time to spare , so we decided to but small cake and eat at mac. We were chit chatting and also have fun eating as well. Sometime when i looked at him while watching movie, the way he laughed i felt extremly warming. It's sort of a finally that he can laugh loud hearty. As i guess he is stress for work, life and me. I really love him. We watched the movie at around 12.05pm. After watching we had GOOD chat and he is sort of stress now i guess. *hahaa..

~25/03/07~
This morning i woke up at 9.40am. I was being woke up by those aunties singing at the park. It was super annoying, i guess if there are lively chickens out there, i assumed that all those chicken will be dead by then. *haha After that, my family and i went to do some praying stuff. My phone bill had arrived to my door step. $100hundred & 22 cents. My father was complaining, i am going to upgrade my plan later. well well well. That's all for the day. I am feeling kind of tired. mm.. smile..


~~lailai , yanyan love youuu~~

I'm back

Finally, i am back to blog.I miss blogging.Time so fast, i left my working place(T.Y) yesterday. I have mixed feelings for this decision. Happy ; I have a chance to rest , and not being said by the 'people' over there. It's rather saddening there at times. Sad; I have to leave the whole team of CSO. They are great people, helping each other when one met problem.

I will definitely miss the times whereby i work night shift and morning shift regardless who I am working with. Folding towels, picking up calls, book class, cancel class, get scolded by members over the phone.

From now onward i will have to rest and enjoyed my life. It's tiring and etc. I will be working out in the gym and live a healthy life with dear dear . *haha. Deardear is also busy working. I hope that he can take care of himself.

There are too much for me to blog. I cannot just simply type all the feelings and emotions in this one entry. If I do, it will be super duper long and i guess friends of mine will just close the window now. *haha. opp. Well, I'm just kidding, i know they wouldn't do that , am I right ? *haha.

I guess i shall stop here. But i would like to say that i miss all my friends badly and also deardear especially in the night.

=)


~~lailai , yanyan love youuuu~~

Random

This entry can consider a random one.

yesterday when I am watching the this show about secondary school life. I really miss those days when I am in school. 1) My english teacher ,that also never fail to ' brighten' up our days. If we fail to do her homework and also bring our english textbook. You wouldn't imagine what she is going to say and punished us. *haha. Someone will be standing at the door saying ' she come already , she come already'. *haha. Normally when the recess bell rang, we will be taking our own sweet time going back to the class, BUT if the next class is HErs. We will run up when the bell rang. *haha. 2) friends will come and find me when I am doing my prefect duties. 3) Together with my best friend thinking where to go after school 4) the times with Miao ling , jeannie and rachel. best friends for life. 5)those rumours around the school to make fun of people and also those rumors people make fun of me. 6) the O level days.

I really miss everyone of you badly. I don't wish that time can rewind due to some circumstances. But i will remember every single moments in my mind forever. Especially those days i had spend in the band room. When I am in 5N , i really got to thank Bingxi to go through the band days with me. Having to be the two oldest senior in the band, without him i think i wouldnt enjoyed the band process of 5n. Oh ya, with a part of jin kun as well.

i miss , i miss , i miss.

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What a day for me. Nothing to blog.


~~lailai , yanyan love youuuu~~

day

It was a good and bad day for me. Working was alright today. After work , I went to PP to settle my watch. It was raining when i reached Orchard. I wasn't carrying a umbrella with me. I have no choice but to walk in the rain. After i am done with the watch, i went home. Omg, the rain was damn heavy. I'm all wet. I am so ' lucky' that when i am standing at the bustop, when one stupid taxi went to drive along the bustop yellow line and stop there. And there goes the drain water splash on my jeans. OMG. Although, i am not the only one being splashed, but I guess im considered in a bad shape at that moment. Just imagine your jean was wet, lucky the water splashed till my knee length. I was so wet , my hair was wet and so is my jeans. Finally i got board up the bus, it was so cold and im glad that i manage to find seat ( actually there are alot of seats la). I reached toa payoh and i took 238. I decided to sit one round, the rain was super duper heavy.
It was a day for me. : )